so just found out that the reason why the TV is gone is because they think i will steal it. I am insulted. i deleted her of my friends list and i think i might delete her as a friend in real life. i can't have people like her in my life.

oh well.

to school i go.

Today is a better day. i siad fuck it I'm happy that i am moving. and was able to sleep.

school was really fun. and i was happy the whole day. talked alot with Iain he helps me allot to understand everything thats going on with bipolar.

i stayed at the studio till about 5:30ish. there was another note from mia. It was alot better then the other one. but i still dont want to talk to her. I just want to move out now and not talk to her for a LONG time. Good thing she is staying at her dads for a bit, hopfully till I leave. but most likly she will be back on the weekend.

i came home and the TV was gone i have no idea why she took that its kinda werid.

my friend andrew is taking my shit to the apartment on thursday. I jsut called the land lady to set p a time that i can sign the lease

alright its time for food.

OHHHH tonight its the SCREAM awards on Spike and House wooohooo

I am still upset, i can't sleep. i hate this.i hate being here and at this moment i dont want to be her friend any more since she cant be happy for me and she is selfish and only thinks the worst of me. so many things i would love to say to her. but i know that its out of anger and i will keep my mouth shout. And i dont want to send her too the hostiple I guise my mom was right about her. she told me not to let this bother me and that i should be happy and not let her take that away from me. i know she is just jealous because i can do things she can't.

i think to better myself i need to have stronger people that can help me and not bring me down. I know i have been severely depressed the last few weeks. and i know that its because of this place. it has become my hell.

I wish my happiness could have lasted a little longer then it did. Last night i couldn't sleep again till like 3am. i woke up at 7am, I went to school. I went to the financial aid office because they had a cheque for me to get my new computer and software because of my LD. they also informed me that i got another 2000 free money because of my LD. YEAH. its a grant.

i went to the computer store were they ordered the computer its a mac pro. I left to home, to find that my boxes were unpacked and my room up side down. Mia found something i hadn't returned and decided that i stole alot of her other stuff. and a nasty note.
10 more days and i will be free.

as i was writing a reply to a comment it almost became a post in its self. so i stoped myself.

I have packed 8 boxes already. i took the stuff off my wall too and moved my bed so i could have more room to sort things out. I am soo scared that something werid is gonna happen like the landlady will call and be like oh were not gonna give you the apartment any more. I will be completely at peace when i have signed the lease. then its MINE mohahahaha. but i will freak out till then.

But this seems to have lifted the horrible depression i have been in for the last 2 weeks. living here has gotten me down and moody. this is a healthy step for me. I have drifted away from what i wanted to accomplish at school. I decided to try out new medication for my Bi Polar because i don't think the ones i am on is working well. it might as have to do with my living situation but i can also feel it at school too.

I don't know why but knowing that i am getting out of her has completely lifted that veil of "nothing is ever gonna change" feeling. I have been putting myself down alot the last two weeks. my self esteem has been shit. But hopfully this will put me back on track.

just so you all know when i got dressed to go out i put my undies with duckies on it my bra with lady bugs on it and my socks with cows on it. i am a zoo today.

i went to LCBO but they said they needed there boxes. so i went to Rietmens. and they didn't have any boxes so i asked them were they throw out there boxes. I went to the back and there were HUGE cantianers with boxes. looked like box heaven for me, but i'm sure box hell for the boxes.

I had to carry them him and its a hot hot day today. when i got home Mia's dad came with some more boxes he found at his apartment. so now i have like fifty boxes. lol

Now will stop procrastinating and start packing. yeah!!!

so i totally forgot to mention this, but I did get a new apartment. Its the cutest LITTLE apartment. Its like a bachelors but with a half wall in the middle. Its on the 3rd floor in a house. I think its in the attic because the walls are kinda on an angle, in the shape of a roof.

when you walk in your in the living room, its long and skinny, you can fit on couch and have room for a book case for the tv stand. There is a huge window too as well in the living room.

to the left is the kitchen. because of the roof there is no cupboards only under the counter. there is a small fridge and a small stove.

back in the living room if you were to take a right there is the bedroom. the door frame doesn't have a door on it, the tenet there now has a beaded curtain. In the bedroom you can put a bed lengthwise and have some floor space. there is a little window in an alcove were you can put your be side table. there is a door to a closet that is rather deep. another door were you go to the washroom is in the bedroom. the Washroom has the normal things you would find in a washroom. but because of the roof the shower is low so you have to bend down to have a shower, or have a bath d use the head that mes off to rinse hair.

and thats the whole apartment. as you go up the stairs there is stain glass windows as well. and the street is really pretty especially in the fall. and its downtown. and close to a grocery store. and 10 min bus ride to my school.

this is my dream apartment. it has lot of personality. when i move in i will take pictures so you will be able to see what i mean. My mom is coming down Nov 2 to help me move and she will stay the night too. and i hope my school friend can help me move the bed. I am Sooooo excited!

Unfortunately i will have to sell my ferrets because i can only have a cat at the apartment because of space. I really hope that my roommate will be able to take them. if not she will ep them till we interview a people to take them.

Well im off to the LCBO so that i can get some Box and start packing and throwing away shit i dont need.

Use the FIRST letter of your last name to answer all of the questions. They have to be REAL answers....nothing made up! Try to use different answers if the person ahead of you has the same letter as you. You can not use your name for the boy/girl name question!

Last name: Murphy

Famous artist/band: matallica

Four-letter word: meow

Boy name: Marven

Girl name: marrie

Occupation: musician

Something you wear: monical

Celebrity name: Madonna

Something found in a kitchen: mushrooms

Reason for being late: munkies

Something you shout: MOOOOOOOO

Body part: mouth

Alcohol Drink: mer lo

Animal: manatee

Movie: Meet the Feebles

TV Show: M*A*S*H

Candy: marshmallow

been chatting with guys on this dating site that dilva introduced me too. its kinda fun.

today was kind of a shitty day. last night i was really sad and couldn't stop crying. so today was the left over of that sadness. and to top it all off a girl in our art class died from a car crash on wensday. i didnt know her but its still kinda sad.

its also gray and raining here. I dont mind it so much but going on the bus and waiting in the rain for the next one kinda sucked and i had to go pee soo bad.

I can't remeber what shows are on tonight but im sure there are some that i like so i amgoing to poor myself a glass of wine and curl up with my cat